Prostate cancer is often referred to as a “couples disease” and for very good reason. The cancer and/or the treatment frequently impacts some of the most personal aspects of a man’s (and a couple’s) life. Difficulties with sexual functioning and issues of incontinence are unfortunate components of this disease.
Maintaining (or building) effective communication skills is crucial. Comforting and supporting one another as your relationship changes is a must.
According to a recent study in the Journal of Clinical Oncology (Feb 2008), wives and other caregivers of men with prostate cancer may be at greater risk of anxiety, fatigue, and other symptoms that can take a toll on the quality of their lives.
In the study, 40 percent of caregivers had significant anxiety symptoms, 12 percent suffered from depression, and about one-third reported substantial fatigue or sleep disturbances. Another 15 percent reported bodily pain. According to researchers, rates of each of these conditions surpassed the average for U.S. women their age.
Caregivers often may have a difficult time managing their own emotions because they are typically focused on their partner and are sometimes slow to seek support for themselves. According to Bonnie Bajorek Daneker, author of The Compassionate Caregiver’s Guide to Caring for Someone with Cancer, caregivers often bear the brunt of the patient’s emotions.
Daneker offers the following tips to caregivers:
• Be mindful of your own health and nutrition. Get exercise & sleep whenever you can.
• Be kind to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for not knowing what to do or say.
• Stay in touch with your friends and support network.
• Give yourself permission to be sad and grieve, but be aware when sadness and other symptoms continue for weeks on end, it’s time to lean on others.
• Remember that you’re not alone.
